Being a single parent

Becoming a single parent is not an easy task. The transition from being part of a parenting couple to going it all alone is very hard to get through. However, you will also find that you grow and change as you go through this transition.

It is ok for you to feel troubling emotions - you may feel lonely, anxious, and sad. It is also completely natural to feel angry. You will probably see the same emotions in your children. They may show confusion and fear. It's all normal and natural.

Your Child.

Remember you are not the only one involved in this. Sometimes it is hard to see past your anger or betrayal. You feel like your ex-partner did wrong on various levels, and it's hard to understand that children often don't see that. They just know that a loved parent is gone from the home.

Try and see through their eyes. It may help you realize how hard this is for them, but remember they are allowed to feel their own emotions. As little ones, or even in older childhood, they may not be quite ready to know the whole truth yet.

Practical Tips.

Those are some of the emotions you and your children may be feeling, but how do you cope with the nitty-gritty, day-to-day challenged of single parenting? These are many challenges - many will depend on your situation and many will be similar to other single parents.

Whole books have been written on them, and it is a good choice to check out some of these books. Remember it is always best not to get mired in the negatives of life. This is a really hard situation, and all the challenges that come with it can be overwhelming.

Know that you can overcome and do well, and so can your children. Be gentle on yourself. Take time to develop a new schedule and routine to guide life for you and your kids. At first you may not be able to get everything done.

You may not always be on time and your kids may need to cut back on activities. Finances can be challenging too. Be creative to find ways to solve these issues. There are a lot of low-cost or even no-cost activities you can do with your children. Remember even if you feel you can't give them everything, what your kid need most is you.

You can provide stability for your children by listening to them. If they are young, reading stories can help them understand you love them and are always there for them. Try to find stories that feature a strong theme of the parent always being there for the child. If your children are older, spend lots of time with them just listening - go for car rides, and walks to give them an opportunity to open up and talk.

Life Will Move Forward.

Life will go on. Look forward with a positive attitude, knowing this is an opportunity for you to grow and learn. You and your children can develop new dreams and hope for your life. You can spend more time together, just enjoying each other and learning that you have a family - a different look than before - but a family still.

If you remember all of these tips you will survive the "hardest job ever" being a single parent. Before you know it, your little one will be grown and you will wish you can have these days back!

Taken from: News Straits Times - 14 September 2012 (article), Google (images).